31 May 2008
free styler - back the fuck up and let me be.
typing completely off the top of my head. excuse the language and any spelling or grammar.you bitch. do not look at me like that. i will grab you by the hair and shove your head through this glass table. i will beat these silver forks on your head till blood comes pouring out of your dramatic eyes, like red rain. red; the colour of love, but bleed your fucking eyes out all you want. i hate you so. i hope you die choking on your own beautiful breath, laden with O2. i hope this o2 changes to H2SO4 in your lungs. impossible i know, but hey, nothing in this world is impossible. right? i hope you cry yourself to sleep and i hope you drown in your own tears. i hope you fall from the sky into a fluffy cloud of white, and then i hope this cloud turns into a big bright flame and laps up every inch of your human skin. do not tell me what to do. when have i ever listened to you in the first place? i do not care about you and your fucked up head so please. back the fuck up and let me be. please.
why did you go away, without a warning sign? if i knew we were to part, i would have spent the whole night sat by your bedside, watching you and listening to you breathe your last breath. i would have let you have my life instead. i would have asked God to transfer my soul into your body, then take yours away. i would have tried harder to make you happier. i would have wanted you to tell me what you dreamt to see me as in the future. you would have spoken and i would have taken notes but now its too late and there is no turning back or no fast forward. im stuck in this moment and there is no where to run to. there are no arms for me to run into, as my eyes shed rain and create a storm. i will be struck by lightening and no one will care. get out of my head and one day out of my life. theres the door, ive held it open for such a long time now. out you go or just back the fuck up and let me be.
if i knew how things were going to be, i never would have given you my consent. actually now that i think about it, i didnt give you my consent at all. you made me give you consent, as you have always done. you tricked me again with your evil ways. i have endless debates in my head and wonder if i should hate you or love you. if i hate you, why should i hate you? thats easy, i can come up with an endless list as to why i should hate you. but why should i love you? why should i? why should i even try when i am fully aware of the consequences? youre so selfish and a hypocrite, amongst many other things. i hate you and i have tried so much to make it obvious, but you do not understand. you fail to understand, or you do not try hard enough, or both. there is so much that you dont know of. there is so much that i dont want to tell you. there is so much i dont want to include you in so back the fuck up and let me be.
my mind is being raped. thats how i feel like this very minute.
back the fuck up and let me be.
back the fuck up and let me be.
(repeat till fade)
haha. mwah.
zaza at 10:40 pm
7comments
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at June 01, 2008
said... Hahahah .... Another turbid mind. I am kinda liking it :)
But I hope its not true. Coz as the post came to its end I started getting a little nervous. :(-
at June 01, 2008
gypsy said... liked the intensity...
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at June 01, 2008
zaza said...
haha why nervous? i think its amazing how when youre upset/angry or feeling strongly about something, creative juices just begin to flowwwwww! glad yous liked it
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at June 02, 2008
lizzie said...
wow...pain brings out the best out us FAN of your randomness and way of writing!!
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at June 02, 2008
A Liberated Soul said...
Ok I am new here! And excuse me if I didn't understand the reason behind your rage.
Zazafeefi..zazafeefi...sounds like a Baby-word :)-
at June 02, 2008
Akshay said...
The passion here is blowing me apart!!
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at August 12, 2008
said...
I loved this post! I feel exactly the same for a chick at work :D love your blog..!!