pages of my burning life

29 Jul 2007

im standing right there.
im right there where ive always been.

and the world is shaking. breaking apart.

zaza at 6:53 pm

26 Jul 2007

The most absurdly ridiculously hilariously lame thing I’ve ever heard anyone say is this, and I quote:

‘Even if God wants it to happen, I don’t’

I’m not perfect, nor am I claiming to be. But surely mankind has forgotten where they came from. You are minute, fickle, headstrong and pigheaded. Reality is that we are absolutely nothing and, my famous line; once you’re dead you’re dead. That quote above is kinda like saying something like ‘well even if death comes to claim me, I’ll refuse to go’ Darling, you have no say in the matter. People better off than you came into the world and left, leaving all their worldly possessions behind and the sooner you realize, the better. Ha.

zaza at 4:56 pm

25 Jul 2007

cut up angels by The Used

'and you lied to the angels,
said i stabbed you death.'

'i lost my head.

you couldnt come.'

zaza at 9:52 pm

23 Jul 2007

manchester mania

I forgot how hectic Manchester can be. People running around from all directions with shopping bags they can hardly carry, disgustingly sick male asylum seekers licking their lips and blowing kisses your way, the long wait to get on the crowded bus which gives you a headache and the awfully long queue in Primark. My legs are killing now. But it was all worth it because at least I got my Nandos.

zaza at 9:32 pm

21 Jul 2007

pages of my burning life = meri zindagi kay jaltay hooaay auraaq

zaza at 11:44 pm

4 angels shot me

20 Jul 2007

You’re nursing a wound so deep, knowing that it will never stop bleeding. You’re building a house on a weak foundation, knowing everything will crumble eventually. You’re trying to dominate lies with that little speck of truth, and you aint ever giving up. You’re living your life, if only to cross over to the land of no return.

zaza at 10:44 pm

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

"Voldemort killed Hermione.

At the end of the story Hagrid was killed by Snape in the attempt of ambush Hermione and Ron. Ron and Hermione flees in privet drive but Voldermort, surprising them, engaged a magical duel with Ron and Hermione.

Voldemort attacked trough the imperius curse and Hermione, to protect the life of Ron fight hardly for more than 6 pages and then finally dies.

Then, to make a long story short, Harry came up, killed all the bad guys and Hogwarts became a good place to stay and have fun.

Ah, i missed one important information about Draco Malfoy, he started to create Horcrux."

The end.

[SORRY PEOPLE]

zaza at 5:44 pm

17 Jul 2007

ramblings

this is completely and utterly butterly random. free stylin. you already think im insane. ha. its been raining a lot lately, actually a lot is not the word. its been raining pretty madly. we havent had a good summer. at all. cold rainy summer months, and more cold and frosty days to look forward to now that summer is nearly gone. i went and stood in the rain today, to grab some inspiration. the only thing is that too many ideas dawned upon me all at once, and i went a bit more insane than what you already think i am. but i stood there and let the rain fall, if only for a little while. wondering what happens to rain drops after they fall, where they go. stood there wondering about a few other things, then walked away. just like you did. ha. the irony. i realised that sometimes, no matter what you do, you have to put your hands up, surrender, be stronger than strong and walk away. try to mend broken things the best way you think is possible, and then have faith and leave everything to God. and when you leave everything to God, know this that whatever is going to happen will happen no doubt. so just submit. give up. give in but at the same time, remain optimistic; keep believing and dont let go. because "belief is a beautiful armor."

zaza at 11:00 pm

4 angels shot me

zaza at 5:55 pm

16 Jul 2007

tag wala post

3 things you can't do:

understand Maths, control the steering wheel of a car!, stop blogging.

3 things you can do:

write, be strong, eat so very much.

3 things that scare you:

thy Lord, drunk people, those series of freak shows

3 things that you love:

Pakistan, cooking, Taha.

3 things you hate:

letting go, people with certian qualities, Isfand :p

people i tag: lizzie, jalijojo, raaji

zaza at 10:02 pm

{thanks [illusions] for telling me about Picasa!!}

zaza at 12:39 pm

9 angels shot me

15 Jul 2007

so what

Broke my heart
And broke it again
Broke it again
And broke it again

So what?

Made me cry
And made me cry again
Made me cry again
And made me cry again

So what?

Made me hate
And made me hate again
Made me hate again
And made me hate again

So what?

Made me slit
And made me slit again
Made me slit again
And made me slit again
So what?

I healed
And I healed again
I healed
And I healed yet again

So what?

If you sit or stand,
If you’re here or there,
Does anyone care?

zaza at 3:11 pm

14 Jul 2007

zaza at 6:04 pm

3 angels shot me

13 Jul 2007

zaza at 6:58 pm

zaza at 11:36 am

12 Jul 2007

Every time

Every time you leave, I cry
Every time I cry, it hurts
Every time it hurts, there is pain
Every time there is pain, there are thoughts
Every time there are thoughts, there are memories
Every time there are memories, there is mystery
Everytime there is mystery, there is you.

zaza at 5:38 pm

I’ll never accept that you lost the fight
Because sooner rather than later
We will reunite
And everything will be OK
And it will feel like nothing ever happened.

zaza at 12:20 pm

10 Jul 2007

I’m tired of being strong and putting on a brave face all the time. So what shall I do? Cocoon myself away from reality? Isn’t that how I pass my life already? And what if I breathe my last breath and we never speak again? Will you at least sit in that corner that you used to go to, and weep your heart out for me? I’ll weep for you too but you won’t be able to see, just as you have never seen because I have never let you. Or maybe you could see right through me but you pretended that you couldn’t. I’ll weep for you so every time it rains, go stand under my tears. I’ll stare at you so look up, gaze into the cloudy skies and lose yourself. Just like when I lost myself while staring into the eyes of destiny and went absolutely crazy while trying to convince myself that it wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t think straight.

zaza at 8:54 pm

'well incase you fail to notice
incase you fail to see
this is my heart
bleeding before you
this is me down on my knees
these foolish games are tearing me apart.'

Foolish Games by Jewel.

zaza at 8:08 pm

cheap thrills

im so bored that i have started distorting the shape of my eyebrows.

zaza at 6:18 pm

9 Jul 2007

my sisters string of words

"Allah karay tum chutiyoan mai itni moti ho jao keh tum say hila na ja ay..."

oh well. i guess i'll have to go treadmilling for 10 extra minutes

:[

zaza at 4:27 pm

Allah: He makes and destroys

Day changes to night and night changes to day. Night changes to day and day changes to night again. Time just aint gonna stop tick tick ticking. You can try but it aint gonna listen, just like you don’t listen to many things. But time is more powerful than you or I. We have no control. That’s what life has been like since you know when and God knows when. Life is going on and life is ever changing. Day by dreary day, death is inching closer. I’m scared. What are we all doing? I’m not saying that I’m the most pious mortal on Earth. I’m not perfect: I’m not even close to perfection. What do we worry about: my shoes don’t match with my outfit, my nose is too big, I’m too fat, I’ll fail my exam if I don’t study? Is that what life is about? Nah, there is so much more. So much more. So much more but we are blind, and deaf or maybe most of us think we are blind and deaf but we are not. Life is changing. There’s too much going on in my head right now. I’m feeling far too deep to express myself…

And then you will say ‘I’m here now’ and I will weep and tell you its too late, or maybe I'll run to you and you will tell me to go away; that I'm not who you thought I was. That’s my worst nightmare and I don’t even want to begin thinking about what would happen after that. May Allah always keep you happy and in high spirits due to various festivities, but once, just once, may He show you the error of your ways. But deep down, I know that everything will be okay. Everything.

zaza at 12:44 am

8 Jul 2007

time flies.

zaza at 6:35 pm

4 angels shot me

you world will crumble?

my universe will crumble.

zaza at 5:16 pm

7 Jul 2007

gotta get thru this.

zaza at 7:24 pm

6 Jul 2007

slow moving

Sometimes you feel so rushed off your feet. You don’t want to wait for the things you REALLY want [knowing that patience is a virtue, a virtue indeed.] You keep running along a meandering road that is leading you to him. There are thorns and prickly flowers along the way and sometimes you can’t help but step on them because there is no other way. And though it hurts, you don’t even mind stepping on them, knowing what is at the other end. Your run across sticks and stones but they don’t break your bones. Your feet begin to bleed but you won’t stop running. You don’t know what’s going through your mind anymore but you just want to get there. It saddens you at how difficult things are but you know that whatever is thrown at you, you can handle it with elegance. You know this will pay off, and that everything that has happened has happened for the best. [jo hota hai achay kay leeyay hota hai. Sai kehtay hain] And then…there he is. You fall down to your knees but feel as if you’ve just been brought back to life. The aches and pains and sorrows begin to fade away into the silence that surrounds you. We both Embrace [and follow Natures Law] We both let the tears flow swiftly.

And then you rest your head on his chest and it never felt better, listening to the sound of your own pounding heart.

zaza at 9:40 pm

5 Jul 2007

I couldn’t stop running because it was like I was running on a road that was leading me to you. And you were there.

zaza at 10:15 pm

updates shates

"zainab, we'll go to every cafe in burnley and rate it out of 10"
thats my big sister talking. lol.
whos gonna pay? me, ofcourse! shes always skint.
so we went to some cafe called Massarellas.
the food was horrible [& i usually dont complain bout food]
we had fudge cake (tasted stale),
we had cauliflour n cheese (too salty),
chips (too cold),
and a pot of tea (aisha drank the whole pot.)
and we both gave it a mere 2/10
[and after that i dragged her to McDonalds where i had a fish filet]

im going treadmilling in a bit though.
not that it has an effect on me - but it makes me feel less guilty about all the eating that i do.
im thinking of leaving boothakitab [facebook] ..
amazingly, her mind awaits dreams..
ah .. anyways. frog. [dadooooooo]
bye fer now. x.

zaza at 8:34 pm

4 Jul 2007

I’m in chains, wires, and tubes
I can’t move, let alone groove
I can’t think, let alone blink
I’m losing it all, my mind,
About to tip over and fall
Waiting for you
To crawl into my open arms
What’s the harm, yo?
What’s taking you so long?
Did I do something wrong?

I’m not in chains or wires or tubes
But something is holding me back
Pull yourself together, don’t fall
I’m yours
Keep hoping for a brighter tomorrow
Like fat people lose weight,
Lose all the regret and sorrow
Keep those arms open
And you’ll find me in them
Sometime soon, yo, sometime soon.

zaza at 10:20 pm

'and the sky splits open into a thunderstorm'

guess whos back. queen of the damned. youve drank so much. youve thought so much that your head hurts and life feels like a blur, or something that passed you by. but ive been waiting for so long and ill still be waiting.

zaza at 6:32 pm

3 Jul 2007

I stand there
In the middle of nowhere
Tears run down my face
At a speed so fast, un-catchable
I don’t feel a thing, numb.
Not knowing anything,
Blatantly dumb.
Eyes reflecting lost expression
Acting as homes
Homes to hopelessness, misery
I sense nothing anymore,
Gloom galore
Not knowing what to believe,
Frozen in time,
Committing an unforgivable crime,
Insensitive and thoughtless
Yet the world revolves
At a pace of its own.

-*-*-*-*--*-*-*-*--*-*-*-*--*-*-*-*--*-*-*-*-

'kaaf saay aap zarra cocopops bolo toh us ka talaffus sahi ho ga. kaokaopops.' :p lol

zaza at 11:50 pm

3 angels shot me

im going cooking crazy.

[ this is a baby pic of taha - when he was a year old ]

looks like a fat baby rat mooahahaha

its been raining too much

but no floods in the North West. yet.

zaza at 1:29 pm

2 Jul 2007

thats the spooky spoon i made for taha.

mama: 'why are you wasting my dhoi?'

and the picture above speaks for itself doesnt it?

3 mangoes, one after the other: and you can bloody well guess who ate them. cant you? :o]
theres just one left. actually, i better eat it before someone else gets their grubby paws on it...

see ya!

zaza at 8:42 pm

1 Jul 2007

dear Gordon Brown,

please can you consider declaring the following days as public holidays?

23rd Jan: friends-are-fuckers day
14th Feb: get-the-hell-out-of-my-head day
2nd May: i-love-Taha day
11th Aug: leave-me-alone day

please consider my plea for the sake of humanity.

thank you.

zaza at 11:01 pm